If you’re a Popservations regular, each Friday I rewind to the ’80s or ’90s, posting a video or music clip. These “Friday Flashbacks” are ostensibly related to the current pop-culture scene or, as is often the case, simply forgotten favorites.

But for all that is best remembered, what about the pop-culture skeletons hiding in our closets? Songs we once loved, but now clearly absent any redeeming value. Not even good enough to be branded guilty pleasures, these ditties are downright embarrassing. If we could backtrack and do things differently, wouldn’t we?

As entry numero uno, I sheepishly submit “Sidewalk Talk” by Jellybean:

If the artist’s name wasn’t familiar, once the chorus kicked in, you likely figured it out. That unmistakable voice is Madonna, who wrote “Sidewalk Talk” — which is really why anyone who recalls the song knows it at all.

John “Jellybean” Benitez had crossed paths with Madonna as a DJ on the New York City club scene of the early ’80s. The pair shared both a romantic and professional relationship, with Madonna asking Jellybean to remix her debut disc more to her liking.

She later gave him “Sidewalk Talk” for his 1985 solo project, contributing vocals on the chorus (another singer, Catherine Buchanan, handles the verses). To capitalize on Madonna’s growing popularity, Jellybean’s label called out the pop star’s writing credit on the cover (the Spanish version appears above).

Such brazenly obvious promotion worked. The single reached #20 on the Billboard Pop Singles chart, and hit #1 on the Hot Dance Club Play chart on February 2, 1986. And music-buying folks like me are entirely responsible. How did I not snicker at such inane lyrics? “Little white lies make the sidewalk cry”? Gawd.

Examining myself in the rear-view mirror, “Sidewalk Talk” is best kicked to the curb.

Purchase Jellybean – “Sidewalk Talk” via iTunes, Amazon MP3.