Paris Hilton released a new single/video late Wednesday, “Drunk Text,” that quickly proved easy fodder for critics and bloggers, many of whom ridiculed the reality TV star/heiress for her latest foray into music. (If you don’t know the pop genius of “Stars Are Blind,” “Nothing In The World” or “Screwed,” just three highlights from her 2006 debut, Paris, you’ve been missing out.)

Maybe I’m alone, but I dig the underground sound of “Drunk Text” — Hilton’s spoken-word delivery and the dark beat courtesy of her collaborators, Colorado-based production duo Manufactured Superstars. The song might not be a pop hit, but heard on certain packed, sweaty dancefloors at 2:00 am on a Saturday night, “Drunk Text” would drive the throngs absolutely mad. (See the ‘Paris Effect’ in action.)

To be clear, the lyrics of “Drunk Text” ain’t Leonard Cohen — or LMFAO — but the haranguing Hilton received on the Interweb was so obviously related to her status in celebdom and a reflexive desire to tear her down. Sure, “My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent” is something of a clunker, but to call the song “audio treason,” as the L.A. Times did, is more than a little much. (“Drunk Text” has now been pulled from YouTube, though you can still find it if you look. For her part, Hilton says, “It’s just a demo I did for fun with friends a while ago.”)

The critical drubbing given “Drunk Text” makes me wonder, though. If the Twittersphere had been around in 1979, one singer-songwriter might never have scored his biggest hit. Rupert Holmes — whose 65th birthday today inspired this post — is best known for having written and recorded “Escape (The Pina Colada Song).” The only song in Billboard chart history to have been #1 in two different decades — on top for two weeks at the end of 1979 and then another in 1980 — “Escape” was inspired by a personal ad Holmes had read.

The subject matter of “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” isn’t the exact equivalent of “Drunk Text,” but the personal ad was still very much a convention of the times, providing a way to connect with potential partners. Today, smartphones provide even more immediacy (and near immediate gratification), thanks to text messages and GPS-enabled “dating” apps. Also, Holmes’ lyrics, which he admits were thrown together pretty quickly — “If you’re not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain” — aren’t exactly Leonard Cohen either. Finally, there’s no escaping that “Escape” is musically repetitive.

Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” deserves its place in the pantheon of pop, and Paris Hilton might still earn a spot as well. Pop, by its very nature, makes room for all comers. And Hilton’s recently been in the studio with LFMAO, who’ve scored two #1 hits of their own, so a third with her name attached isn’t out of the question.

Might Holmes be persuaded to pen a song for Hilton, maybe “Escape (The Drunk Text Song)”? He did write several for The Jets, including “You Got It All,” which was nearing its #3 peak 25 years ago this week. Britney Spears covered the Minneapolis singing siblings’ highest charting ballad in 2000, including her take on the international editions of Oops!… I Did It Again.

Purchase Rupert Holmes – “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)” via iTunes, Amazon MP3.