After weeks of waiting for Britney Spears’ new single, during which co-producer Dr. Luke teased the opening lyrics via Twitter and the song’s original demo leaked — among other bits that drove fans into a frenzy — “Hold It Against Me” premiered in full this morning.

So, what’s “Hold It Against Me” like? Well, it’s practically impossible to live up to such anticipation, and hearing the finished product proves that point. With pop music’s Dream Team of Dr. Luke and Max Martin on board, I expected Britney’s new song to come close to the confectionary highs of “What The Hell,” “Teenage Dream,” and “Since U Been Gone.” Though it comes from the same assembly line, “Hold It Against Me” is a darker bite of music. The bass is insistent, nearly suffocating, with the production’s barely-there air scented with desperation, much like the old pickup line on which the song hangs.

Let’s also consider the song’s middle eight, on which some of my favorite moments in music often hang. Druggy dubstep? Thank you, “Hold It Against Me,” I haven’t been this let down by a bridge since Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies.” I don’t care for Britney against this particular music.

So “Hold It Against Me” is different from what the charts currently have us accustomed to hearing, and being different, isn’t an immediate monster. But I’ve no doubt that constant exposure in the near term will cement “Hold It Against Me” into our cerebral cortex, paint a Joker-like smile on our face, and find us surrendering to the Southern charm of Britney without the slightest inclination to, erm, hold it against her. Check back in a week, and I’m sure the number of plays on my iPod will number in the double digits. Hear here:

Purchase Britney Spears – “Hold It Against Me” via iTunes.