The tracklisting for Madonna’s upcoming hits collection, Celebration, was announced via press release today, describing the retrospective selections as having been “exquisitely remastered.”

As a copywriter by trade, that particular adjective isn’t one I’d have used to describe the sonic-scrubbing her tunes have been given, though I’m sure the end results are really quite lovely. While I’m willing to look past that writerly stumble (it did appear in a press release, after all), I’m less willing to concede the conspicuous absence of several of Her Madgesty’s hits. If this is indeed a celebration to wrap up Madonna’s career with Warner Bros. Records, without “Deeper And Deeper” and “Nothing Really Matters,” where’s the party?

The decadent “Deeper And Deeper” video did make it onto the DVD, so there’s that, but I really don’t get why “Nothing Really Matters” was struck from Madonna’s musical memoirs. Something wrong with her herky-jerky geisha?:

Anyway, with plenty of Madonna highlights to keep the masses satisfied, here’s what’s on the double-disc version of Celebration (which includes new songs “Revolver,” featuring Lil Wayne, and the title track), as well as the DVD music-video collection of the same name:

CD 1
Hung Up / Music / Vogue/ 4 Minutes/ Holiday/ Everybody / Like A Virgin/ Into The Groove / Like A Prayer / Ray Of Light/ Sorry / Express Yourself/ Open Your Heart/ Borderline / Secret / Erotica/ Justify My Love/ Revolver

CD 2
Dress You Up/ Material Girl / La Isla Bonita / Papa Don’t Preach / Lucky Star / Burning Up / Crazy For You / Who’s That Girl / Frozen / Miles Away / Take A Bow / Live To Tell / Beautiful Stranger / Hollywood / Die Another Day / Don’t Tell Me / Cherish / Celebration

DVD
Burning Up/ Lucky Star/ Borderline/ Like A Virgin/ Material Girl / Crazy For You/ Into The Groove / Live To Tell/ Papa Don’t Preach/ True Blue/ Open Your Heart/ La Isla Bonita/ Who’s That Girl/ Like A Prayer/ Express Yourself / Cherish/ Vogue / Justify My Love/ Erotica / Deeper and Deeper/ Rain/ I’ll Remember/ Secret/ Take A Bow/ Bedtime Story/ Human Nature/ I Want You / You’ll See/ Frozen/ Ray Of Light/ The Power Of Good-Bye/ Beautiful Stranger/ American Pie/ Music/ Don’t Tell Me/ What It Feels Like For A Girl/ Die Another Day/ Hollywood/ Love Profusion/ Hung Up/ Sorry/ Get Together/ Jump / 4 Minutes/ Give It 2 Me/ Miles Away/ Celebration

As for the tunes and clips sidelined for Madonna’s “Sayonara to Sire/Warner” shindig, these are the ones I’d count as major misses (well, some more major than others):

Songs (besides “Deeper And Deeper” and “Nothing Really Matters”): “Angel,” “Keep It Together,” “Rescue Me,” “Bedtime Story,” “Human Nature,” “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina,” “What It Feels Like For A Girl,” “American Life,” “Love Profusion,” “Nothing Fails,” “Me Against The Music,” “Jump,” and “Get Together.”

Videos (besides “Nothing Really Matters”): “Dress You Up” (a live performance, but still a favorite), “Oh Father,” “Fever,” “This Used To Be My Playground,” “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore,” “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina,” and “American Life.”

Of course, none of this will stop me from joining the Celebration. I just have to accept that I won’t have everything until the eventual release of Madonna’s Super-Duper Deluxe Platinum Essential Complete Gold Anthology Retrospective.

Madonna – Celebration (CD/DVD) is out September 29th (pre-order via Amazon).